Chatterboxes
2003-06-06 - 2:33 p.m.


Over the past few days I have been talking mostly in IM with her and him and quite a few others who don't have diaryland accounts or any other fascinating links I can put up. It's weird really because I stopped IM chat because I get too involved with the person - and then they disappear or are just going round the houses trying to get you to have cybersex and I end up feeling at a loss and disappointed. Which is stupid isn't it?

I am so desperate to make friends and to feel accepted within online society - seeing as I'm hardly accepted in mainstream society - that I end up coming either on too strong or off as a freak, looking for something he will never find.

But it's not like that now. I realise that the internet is fickle. I know that people come and go and eventually so will I. There will come a time when I'm too busy to post on message boards or participate in IM chats every night - or even to write in this diary on a daily basis. I realise that maybe I can find friends on the internet, which I have, especially her and him, but that they might not last for life - and only really last whilst we are mutually online and don't have anything better to do.

Not that I personally would abandon either of the two above, but they could easily abandon me... maybe abandon is a strong word... find something different; more fulfilling than the internet. I realise now that you just have to take things for what they are - and not be so obsessed as I have been in the past. Appreciate things whilst they last is what I'm what I'm trying to say.

It's a minor epiphany. And probably one that everyone else thinks is obvious... but to a person who's friends take precidence in their life, it is an important one.

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all words �NFH 2003
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